__________ ` suhhweeet-ness *

`pUbLiC pOoL sUcKs`

11:01 PM

The weather nowaday is getting really warm.. cannot tahan.. So darling suggest tat we head down to the pool to enjoy the cool water.. at the same time can exercise.. haha.. getting fat nowadays.. =(

We head down to the pool in the evening coz both of us doesn't wan to get tan in the sun.. we wanna go to the sch pool but it was close.. haiz.. sad.. bo bian.. have to go to the public pool lo.. hmmm.. the entry fee is very ex.. Adult entry was $1.30.. last time only 80 cents.. =( .. standard of living in Spore is very high..

After getting change, we head to the middle pool.. OMG.. the water in the pool is so warm.. sian.. furthermore, there are so many children playing in the pool.. i prefer not to have so many ppl in the pool.. The water is salty too.. haiz.. it's like swimming in the sea.. except the sea water is cooler than here.. totally sucks..

We head to the large pool.. the water condition is the same.. there are so many ppl swimming.. u have to watch out for ppl when u r swimming.. i bang into 2 ppl while swimming.. so stupid.. decide not to swim le.. teach darling to swim better..

Seriously, i wonder how long they change the water in the pool.. how come it is so salty? i bet some stupid kid "pee" in the pool.. Hmmmm.. so all in all, PUBLIC POOL SUCKS~!!!!

Saturday, April 30, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` MoViE: "Wet Dreams(Kor)" `

11:24 PM

It's about time the cinema in Singapore to import on more of these type of movies.. rather than some other stupid and lame comedy shows..

This is Korea's first sex comedy ( i wonder when will Spore have it's first).. Its abt these 4 students exploring the world of sex.. I think the Censor board have done a great job by editing so many parts if not it will be perfect.. keke.. you know wat i mean.. ^^

It is really interesting and nice to see how those 4 guys find ways to fulfil their "urge".. Some of them include the pull up bar, instant noodles, etc.. It might sound weird, but those "things" other uses.. Now, i dun think cup noodles as just a normal cup noodles.. If u intend to go a Hotel, the show have a very innovative way to hide ur face from being recognised.. ^^

Please dun think it as just purely sex sex sex.. Inside the show, there is still a rather romantic part in it.. A sch teacher falling in love with his former student which is a trainee teacher at the sch.. And also a student falling in love with the trainee teacher.. There are some really sweet but old fashion method tat are still reliable in the modern society..

By the way, the show also teaches us how to appreciate the good education system and non-violent action in Singapore.. Imagine your sch teacher whacking ur head and smacking ur butt with a wooden bat, and teaching you english tat even a kindergarden kid can speack better..

I seriously dun recommend this show to those prevert guy who like to go around molesting ladies and those idiotic peeping tom.. The director unintentionally included those both old and new trick like the using the mirror to peep or pretend to fall and grab the girl's butt, etc..

The show lack of strong story lines and many expected scenes.. This movie is rated as M18.. It is only available at GV cinema.. Catch it before it disappear from the cinema..

Movie rating: 3.5/5.

Friday, April 29, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` bAck iN sCh `

11:44 PM

Sian... today still need to go back to sch to hand in the IPP log book and do some stupid feedback.. Got a breakfast from darling.. egg with bread.. not bad.. but i prefer more black pepper dar.. =)

Dar and i wore couple tee.. haha.. it was from 4 skins.. haha.. bought it at Heeren.. There was this malay lady tat smile at us and took her fingers to place it like a photo frame.. haha.. so funny.. but we r not used to it in the beginning.. we will get used to it later.. ^^

Today the whole class was like suppose to meet up in sch.. but end up only 4 ppl.. haiz.. sad.. Jasmine, MeiLing, Darling and me.. The rest are coming tmw.. sucks.. so bored.. After doing those crap things, we sat on the bench at level 4.. sian.. so bored..

We saw Chew Phuay Hern .. haha.. he invited us for lunch.. Eating in sch sucks.. the food is so sian.. haha.. i wonder how told lecturer can take it.. We ended up having bubble tea.. There we are in South canteen toking rubbish.. Well, chew phuay hern is very funny.. he is like one of the better lecturer in NYP.. can joke and serious at time..

Go to Mos burger for lunch.. tok cock there.. haiz.. i miss those times in FYPJ.. coz we always slack like crap.. come to amk for lunch and shop shop.. haha.. dun feel like leaving this group of ppl.. haiz.. sad.. Jasmine's bf came to look for her.. we continue toking cock and juz left..

mL was so nice to follow darling and i to NTUC to get something for dinner.. haha.. well.. dunno when we can do it again.. haha..

Seriously.. i miss those guys in sch.. hmmmm.. lets hope we can meet up once a month.. =)

Monday, April 25, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` MoViE: "CrEeP" `

11:52 PM

I watch this movie at GV Marine.. Hmmm.. Let me give u some of my comments on this show..

This is a Horror British show which mainly take place in London.. The show is generally interesting.. The director (Christopher Smith) started the horror at the very beginning of the show with 2 sewage worker..

This movie has a poor story line.. It seems to me that there isn't any story to the show.. But there is a trade off with the nice and new horror essential added to it.. The "murderer" killed a lady with a knife through the middle of her leg.. GROSS~!!!

But there are quite a number of unbelieveable points during the show.. How is it that a passenger is allow be in the train station when even the worker in the train station is gone? How can the night security guard able to miss the leading actress, Kate (Franka Potente)? How does the station becoming a home for 2 homeless couple? How can the "murderer" able to drive a train? There are many more stupid points to the show.. Thanks goodness SMRT is not like that..

Like most of the movie.. the murderer like cannot die.. haha.. even when u have the a high heel hit into your eye ball, he did not go blind.. LOL.. When the murderer had the large "fish hook" into his neck, he can still move and carry a large cylinder.. haha.. even after the neck was half rip of, he can still breathe and move.. LOL..

This show is full of blood and violence. The rating i give to this show is 3/5.

Saturday, April 23, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` FaReWeLL gOOdByE `

5:28 PM

When the clock strike 12 in the night, I would have graudated from NYP together with our fellow students.. 3 yrs have gone le.. so fast.. haiz.. sad..

Bo Bian la.. Farewell and goodbyes are issues that u cannot avoid de.. Even when u wanna hang up the phone, u also need to say "bye bye" or "good bye"...

Humans are funny creature.. When u juz started a job or education, u hope that it will end quickly.. But when it is the time to go, we will feel quite sad.. Hmmm.. Maybe there are something that they miss like food, emotion, people..

Well, farewell is a damn sad thing.. Starting for kindergarden to the first job and to currently, graduating from NYP.. Next thing in life for me is NS.. soon i will ORD and leave the stupid army life.. haha.. think too much le.. -_-"'

Juz hope that we all can meet up more often.. Not loose contact.. There is a saying "You will bound to drop friends as time goes by".. But i know tat there are friends that i can keep hold of and i hope tat will be fulfil.. God bless everyone..

Friday, April 22, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` MidNiGhT pOoL `

3:20 AM

It's been a very long time since i have played pool in the middle of the night.. The players are Shawn, Andy,My sister and I..

Rem the first time tat i actually stay the night out playing billiard or pool was during the band camp.. A group of us together with the seniors seek out in the middle of the night and head down to Orchard.. haha.. tat time the sch very near orchard.. When we went back to sch the following morning.. Kena shit from teacher-in-charge.. haha.. but dun care la..

I really miss those fun days back in sec sch.. but they are all history and all tat is left are memories of it..

it was meant to be-

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` ShOrT dEmO `

3:42 PM

The business partner ( the gang of auntie) had a appointment with us on the short demo on the system we have done during the attachment period here in OCBC..

Well, I knew tat it will not be a easy demo to present.. But haiz.. PT today sore throat.. so cannot really tok tat much..

We roughly go throught 1st tab of the system.. Auntie 2 juz interrupt and ask us juz to show her how to create a test scripts and save it in the Test Director.. She somehow lack the patient to allow us to complete our short demo.. Lao da help us to control her..

When we continue to present the demo, she suddenly ask this question..
Auntie 2 : "If i wan to transfer funds from saving to current and den from current back to saving can it be done? after tat u have to check the internet log, the amt in the acct is correct, transaction log, amt correct anot."

Wah.. she was talking so fast.. i couldn't get hold of wat she is saying at all.. Auntie 1 was nicer and she ask her not to say any more.. coz i dun understand.. but i told her tat i dun really hear her.. Forget it..

After tat the demo was taken over by Lao da.. i think only he can handle her la.. Auntie 1 cannot tahan Auntie 2 also.. she even ask her to keep her volume lower coz she will go deaf if she continue at that high pitch voice..

After much debate, they ended the short demo.. Bless the Lord tat it is over.. by the end of tmw, i will be gone from this place.. Bless the rest..

Thursday, April 21, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` pAsToR Wei LoNg `

10:25 PM

Wei Long wanna take a look at wat does the bible looks like and wat the content is like.. I brought it for him and he started reading it..

Gensis is the first book in the Old Testimony. It was toking abt the how God created the world and the story of Adam and Eve.. Wei Long read it as if it was a book not a bible..

Soon after, Wei Long ask how to be a pastor.. How much does a pastor earn.. Does the pastor have a full time job outside the church and become a pastor only during Sunday? He seem so keen to be a Pastor.. Hmmm.. I knew tat u need to have bible studies and go to the Singapore Bible College.. But other than tat, i have no idea..

At the end of the day, he seem so determine to buy a bible the next day.. haha.. i wonder if he is for real going to be a pastor.. haha.. i encourage him to join a church and go for the services.. But he seem reluctant abt it..

Crystal think tat something wrong wif Wei Long in her blog.. I kinda of think so too.. coz he seem so heck care abt religion things.. But i will try to bring him into the love of the Lord..

Let's hope in the near future, Wei Long will give me a call and ask me to join him for church service becoz he is going to give the sermon.. haha.. Let welcome Pastor Wei Long.. ^^

Wednesday, April 20, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` cHoCoLaTe 4 u `

3:58 PM

In 2 days time, i"m leaving OCBC le.. Hahaha.. finally.. i going to graudate le.. ^^

We need to thanks our supervisor and in-charge.. So after our lunch in Ajisen, we head down to Chocolat World.. Our budget is as low as possible.. haha.. coz we r broke.. =p

We selected 2 flavour and the sales assistant help us to wrap it up in a very nice box.. First, we give it to Lao da.. He was quite shock, give us a smile and say "thanks"..

Next was Jamie (Da jie).. She was equally shock too.. But she doesn't like to eat chocolate.. haha.. we tot tat she was married but in fact she is not.. haha.. the baby photo on her CPU was her colleague's.. haha.. She ask us when we go back.. She was glad that we are going away so soon.. LOL.. but she thanks us none the less.. =)

The last guy was Song Ming.. He was not at his desk when we pass the chocolate to Lao da and Da jie.. We saw him at his desk after a while and went to give him the chocolate.. Hmmm.. he open it straight away.. he saw the 2 chocolate and said this..

Song Ming (SM) : "Look at my size so big and u give me 2 small chocolate.. u sure anot"
*Both PT and me like very pai seh lo..
Me : "Token of appreciation ma.."
SM : "How much is the chocolate ar?"
Wah.. i tot he is going to say u shouldn't have lo.. but no.. he said.,..
SM : "I dun eat chocolate that is lower than $9"
Basket.. i koe u rich la.. good lo..
PT : "We not very rich ma.. we always get Kit Kat ma.." laughing away
SM : "Den buy Kit Kat lo.. "
He was going for the Quantity now and not the Quality..

Anyway.. good luck to them.. LOL

it was meant to be-

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` WiTcH LaUghTeR `

3:25 PM

Auntie 2 is the nosiest among gang. Her laughter was intolerable. She laugh so loud. I think it's jus her la.. she dun have the discipline to control her laughter.. damnit..

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` ShOpPiNg ShOpPiNg`

11:45 PM

So long nv go shopping le.. woo.. so much fun.. haha.. Actually wanna buy something for secret adminer(dar's mum).. den end up shopping for ourselves.. haha

Miss Blur Sotong(darling) tot today got her Fo Tang but in fact, dun have.. den she jio me out.. LOL.. But i need to join my parents for Dim Sum first at East Ocean at Shaw Center.. They advertise on the chinese paper with their cute creation of Dim Sum.. After tasting it, i can conclude tat it sucks.. there is a saying : "Nice to see, not nice to eat".. Damnit.. it is also very expensive $4.50 for 3 of them.. Heng ar.. the rest of the dim sum taste delicious..

Miss Blur Sotong suppose to alight at Orchard MRT station but the blur sotong alight at Somerset MRT station.. very jia lat.. blur like crap.. haha.. Den we walk walk, see see.. We rem tat we wanna dye our hair so went down to Watson and get the color dye..

After tat walk down to Heeren and take a look the skirt she wanna get long long ago.. haha.. I walk pass 4 skin and saw a very nice t-shirt.. haha.. i got one for myself and another for Miss Blur Sotong.. haha.. Guess wat, i got the blur sotong to put on a skirt.. haha.. At first, it look like a apron but after tat, it was quite nice.. haha.. blur sotong look great in it.. haha.. she is going to wear tat on JP's wedding.. haha.. with the blouse i got for her from MANGO.. =)

I can't wait for 28th May to attend JP's wedding and Miss Blur Sotong in the Spaghetti top (either from Mango or Fox) and in the skirt.. And best of all, she will be in a Dress.. *Drooling* =)

Sunday, April 17, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` gD mOrNiNg SiR `

2:21 PM

After 11 wks of attachment in OCBC, we going to present our stuff in the morning.. I need to came early to ensure that the system is working fine and not having any hiccups..

Yst evening before i left office, i shift the PC into the meeting room.. Early in the morning, i took my cup of coffee and when to the meeting room.. Inside the room, there was this old lady in her late 60's or early 70's cleaning the window..

She was one of the newly employed worker.. Everyday, she would come over to our desks to clear our rubbish.. Since i was so busy in the morning, i juz did my things and didn't mind abt her.. She was slowly cleaning the window and begin to clean the door.. Suddenly she said : "Good morning Sir"..

I was shocked and nearly spit my coffee out.. I didn't notice her at all.. I tot was out of the room.. I also very pai sai.. this lady is old enough to be my Ah ma.. And here, she is calling me "Sir".. I quickly reply her with a morning message.. She smiled and slowly made her way out of the meeting room..

Haiz.. i really sympathise her.. she is so old and yet working.. she should be retired and enjoying her retirement days.. Imagine yourself still working at that old age.. haiz.. poor thing.. i wish her all the best in her job..

Friday, April 15, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` aDiDaS cAp `

10:40 PM

As usual, we had our 2hrs lunch break.. haha.. Suppose to be only 1 hr.. haha.. nvm la.. Lao da never come..

I came across tis adidas cap during lunch time.. Hmmm.. it was white in color with a adidas logo on top of it.. I wanted to get it.. But hope to be able to get a nicer looking cap.. Anyway, still got a few more months before cutting "botak".. Darling also promise to get me a cap when i cut "botak"..

Darling was late coz she left office at 6.00pm.. She travelled all the way from Yio Chu Kang to look for me.. She was hungry, so we went to get something to eat at the food court.. The Korean food was not bad except the Kimchi Fried Rice.. eeeeeeeeeee.. gui gui de...

We went to Fox lady and change her top.. Wooo.. she look great in the white Spaghetti top i bought for her yst.. haha.. With nothing to do, we walked to the Adidas shop i went during lunch.. I showed her the cap and without further ado, she took her wallet out.. But i insist that if she is getting it for me, den she need to get one too.. She agree reluctantly.. hahah.. dun worry la.. she will be only paying for one.. =)

Thanks darling for the cap.. we wear in on Sat k? =)

Tuesday, April 12, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` 7 mOnThs tOgeThEr Le`

11:52 PM

7 mths = 210days = 5,040 hrs = 302,400mins =18,144,000sec

That is how long Darling and I have been together le.. haha.. Come to think of it hor.. Very fast lehz.. Today celebrate 7 months anniversary.. But coincidently, today also my Dad b'day.. Den going out for dinner.. So bo bian cannot go out and celebrate.. =(

I bought for her a white Spaghetti top from Fox Lady.. There was nothing much i can get for her since there is nothing much i can get from Tampines Mall.. i hope she liked it..

She koe tat i have dinner tonight. Therefore she stayed in the office for OT.. haha.. i gave her a call and arrange to meet up.. haha.. Oh man.. she was over the hill feeling so excited.. haha.. me too.. hehe..

I passed her the gift and she keep saying "thank u so much dear dear".. haha.. We got something from BreadTalk den suddenly i received a call from home.. i need to be back by 8.15pm.. Journey back home was 1/2 hr.. bo bian.. need to go and take bus home le.. haiz.. sad lehz..

Darling called me shortly after reaching home.. haha.. i ask her to go and try.. haha.. At first she dun wan la.. but i keep forcing her till she finally agree.. hmmm.. she told me a bit loose.. Hmmmm.. goodness me.. darling is very thin.. i was scared tat it was too small for her..

Its ok.. she promise to meet me tmw at Tampines Mall to change it.. =)

7 mths le.. so fast.. so nice.. so loving.. so in love wif u darling.. *muack*

Monday, April 11, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` pOor mR wAtEvEr `

11:01 PM

Actually the "Kao Bei" gang are here for UAT (User Acceptance Test).. Hmmm.. tat juz means u get a group of potential users and they will try to bring ur system down.. Everything seems to be the same.. noisy, witch like laughter, never ending bitching, etc.. Then all of a sudden, Auntie 2 starts shouting......

Auntie 2 (A2) : "How come all this things are here? I need to be treated as ordinary user. How do u expect people outside to actually koe wat u trying to do or say here!!!"

*Everyone lifted their head to see wat happen*

Mr Watever (MW) : "Ya.. I know.. but.. we have got ppl.................."

Before he can end his sentence, A2 cut in..

A2 : "Well, u should jolly well have this thing done before we came down.. It is ur responsibility.. Nicholas is not here today.. u expect him to koe wat to do if he comes back tmw?"

MW : "Yes yes.. correct.. i understand.. tat is y...................."

A2 : "If u have understood, y is it not done.. u have the initiative ma...."

MW : "Ya.. ok..."

MW storm off.. Auntie 2 den start complainting to Auntie 1.. goodness.. y can't she juz keep her f*^king mouth up??

After a while, Mr watever came back.. he was smiling.. then he was asking A2 y she was so fed up.. Hmmm.. Mr Watever have a good temper.. I think i would slap her face real hard.. I might even say tis "Can u shut ur f*^king bitch hole up u f^#king slut~!!!"

I salute u Mr Watever ~!!!

it was meant to be-

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` FaRt FaRt FaRt (pArT 2) `

11:39 AM

Hahhaa.. I found out more interesting fact and wish to share.. =)

Is it harmful to hold in farts?
There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much.

Where do farts go when you hold them in?
How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it? I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it? The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later.It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.

How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill.As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!"Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.

Is it possible for a fart to kill you?
A great many of you have asked if farts can be fatal, or if you can die from smelling a particularly bad fart. My initial response to this question was "no," but I thought I'd better ask a doctor. So now it is official, the medical opinion I received is no, a fart can't kill you.However, if you really work hard at it, you can manage to kill yourself with just about anything. I recently read of a man who hooked up his nose to his anus with a system involving a gas mask, rubber tubing and a hollow wooden post. He died of suffocation. This story comes from the Darwin Awards, and I personally cannot attest to the overall veracity of their stories.The story of the bed-bound obese man who died from inhaling his own flatulence (and whose farts almost killed the paramedics) is an urban legend that has been in circulation for some time.But according to Buzzbomb43, whom I quote: "In World War Two, the Air Force estimates that around 1000 to 2000 airmen were killed because of flatulence. The reason is B-17 bombers were not pressurized, so when bomber crews operated around 20,000 feet, the gas would expand and rupture their intestines." Now, that is a nasty way to go! There are also, of course, (in)famous stories about excessive farters that bio-hazard small toilet rooms, and when they try to light a cigarette the flame ignites the gas-rich-environment causing an explosion. My personal view about such stories is one of doubt.

Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar and save it for later use?
It should be theoretically possible to do this, but there would be lots of logistical problems. I would suggest using a plastic bag instead of a jar. You might try the following as a science fair experiment:Fart into several plastic bags and seal them carefully. Then fill several other plastic bags with ordinary air. Wait 24 hours. Then get volunteers to smell the contents of the bags to see if they can correctly identify which ones contain the farts. This should tell you if it is possible to store a fart in any useful way.
Malachi and Megaera have come up with a way to capture a fart in a jar. They say to do it in the bathtub while bathing. Fill the jar with bath water and then hold it with the open end downward. Lean back in the bathtub so that your fart bubbles will emerge in front of you rather than behind you where you can't see them. Catch the bubbles in the jar, and put the lid on the jar while it's still underwater. This way, you capture a fairly pure fart uncontaminated by atmospheric air. To enjoy your captured fart to the fullest extent, make sure that your jar does not already smell like whatever was it it before, like pickles or peanut butter.
Meep wrote to say that her fiancé was an expert fart collector at the age of ten. He used Kodak film canisters, and kept them on a shelf in his room. Experiments on his mother proved the efficacy of his method.

it was meant to be-

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` FaRt FaRt FaRt (pArT 1) `

11:56 PM

Where does fart gas come from?
The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.

What is fart gas made of?
The composition of fart gas is highly variable.Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of boring, inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.Encyclopaedia Britannica offers the intriguing statement that some people's farts contain no methane. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the anomaly is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.

What makes farts stink?
The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

Why do farts make noise?
The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus.

How much gas does a normal person pass per day?
On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

According to the fact of fart above, an avg person fart 14 times a day.. But someone on bus 163 seem to let go all of the 14 farts at one shot.. Damnit.. he seems to fart every 5 mins.. goodness.. i t was so smelly.. Damnit.. I know at time u cannot control it.. But the fact is, how can u keep farting.. omg..

I plead u ppl.. dun fart in public.. if u need to, go to either a crowd place or a deserted area.. Crowd place coz no one koe which idiot farted and they will breathe in fast.. So the effect will not last long.. Deserted area coz u can enjoy the smell that u produced..

http://www.thefart.com/more.html

Sunday, April 10, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` mY FiRsT fRiEnD wEdDiNg`

11:58 PM

Attending a friend's wedding.. Hmmm.. Tat seems so far away.. Most wedding tat i attended was either our relative whom most of them i dunno or my mum's friend..

The news was released to us when Aven and I was waiting for the girls outside the ladies at Cineleisure. Darling came out of the toilet first followed by Jiapei.. Suddenly Jiapei asked her something...........
JiaPei(JP) : "Are you free on the 28th of May?"
Darling(Dar) : "Y lehz" *Pinching and playing JP cheek*
JP : "Ask u go for Xi Jiu (Wedding dinner) lo"
Dar : "Huh.. ohhh.. really ar.." *dar was not believing it*
Me : "Hmmm.. whose wedding dinner is it ar?"
JP : "Mine lo"
Me : "Huh.. really ar.. Aven.. real anot ar?"
Aven : "Yup.. real one la.."
*The rest of the girls appear (Kiat Loo and MeiLing)*
MeiLing(ML) : "Ya la.. really.."

OMG.. i can't believe it.. my darling also.. i know tat JP and Ryan are going to get married soon.. but i did not expect to be so soon.. omg.. tis is surprising.. I tot that it will be at least going to be after we graduate from Poly ma..

If JP is reading tis, Congratulation~!!! Hope u have a happy life after marriage. Now u can enjoy the tai tai life le.. =) For the rest, stay tune for more wedding report on 28th May..

Saturday, April 09, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` mEaNiNg * oF * LiFe (paRT 1)`

11:56 PM

Let's start with you. What does your life mean?

That you are alive means that your parents loved EACH OTHER enough to make you. That you are alive means that your parents loved YOU enough to let you live, in spite of how annoying you were.

That you are alive means that God thinks you will do some good, either for yourself or for others, that would go undone if you were to die at this instant. What does God consider good for you? Everything that happens to you, if you let it be good for you and teach you something. (If it weren't good for you and God didn't think you could handle it, God wouldn't let it happen. Even things you struggle with can be good for you if you overcome them, because it makes you stronger. That's how you can do good for yourself. It would be tragic if you were to let yourself be overcome by things God knows you are capable of handling with His help.)

If you spend your time on things you feel are meaningless, life will seem meaningless to you, and you will probably be pretty miserable and discontented. If you spend your time on things you feel have meaning, then your life will be full of meaning, and you will be pretty happy, no matter what happens to you.Life is meaningful when it is worth living. Life is worth living when you help people. There are many different ways of helping people, and life is most worth living when you help people in some special way that only you can do.

Today, I came out of the train station and i overheard this lady speaking on the phone.. She was asking explaining the meaning of life to the other party.. She told the person to be strong and not give up.. Nice lady to give such encouragement..

Back in the office, this topic appeared again. Yst, xiao mei was not feeling well wif her stomach and decide to go home and rest. Today, Auntie 1 and 2 ask her how was her stomach, was she feeling better.. She gave them a very sweet smile say tat she is alright le.. After tat Auntie 2 said something..
Auntie 2: "Y are not skipping lunch? U should eat ma.. Even if u scared fat, u should at least get something to eat.. "
Auntie 1 joined it.
Auntie 1: "Ya lo.. if scared fat den dun eat rice lo.. get some noodles or something like tat la.."
Auntie 2: "Ya.. correct.. life is too short to suffer like tat.."
Xiao mei: "ok.."

Hmmm.. they are speaking the truth.. Indeed.. Life is too short to suffer.. We should enjoy it.. I think tat is y i can nv managed to slim down.. haha.. nvm la.. darling dun mind can le.. haha..

Last but not least, i will leave u with some quotes of life i found on the web...

1)
Life is a cocktail. It consists of variable measures of family, relationships, play and work. Our quest,should we be prepared to accept it, is to find ourvery own unique mix. Every decision we make in lifealters this mix. Learning from our choices and makingcorrections as necessary will enable each of us tofind our perfect cocktail.
By:“Sir Percival Blakeney”

2)
The meaning of life is…Life.

All life exists to recreate itself. Blast an island to dust with a volcano and within a few years stuff is growing all over the place. Why? Because it MUST. Follow the chain up from RNA and you get replicating organisms. Why are we here? To reproduce. We eat so we're strong enough to have sex. All else is justification.
By: Doug Finner

3)
To me the meaning of life has to do with your reaction to life. It is all about being there for a friend in need or even just having a smile on your face for all to see. It is about not getting weighed down by the trials in life, but rejoicing in the victories no matter how big or small they may be. Did you get to the gas station before you ran out of gas? Victory! Were you able to make someone smile today? Victory! Did you find out that your cancer is now in remission? Victory! It is the little things of daily living that give meaning to life.
By: Kristy L Hodson

http://users.aristotle.net/~diogenes/meaning1.htm

Friday, April 08, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` TiSsUe * PaPeR `

11:57 PM

Check and see if u have a packet of tissue paper around u or somewhere is ur bag.. That packet of tissue paper is very impt.. To some, it really doesn't matter if they have it anot..

Recently, i came across an article and soon realised tat tissue paper can perform wonders.. Lots of ppl use them to earn money.. from people manufacture tissue paper to those disabled ppl selling them in hawker centre and toilet auntie sitting by the enterance collecting 10cents.. It can even be made into an art piece..

Imagine a world without tissue paper. Wat are u going to use if u have a flu? Wat are u going to use after u finish ur "big business" in the toilet? Wat are u going to use to clean ur sweat? Wat are u going to use to wipe ur mouth after meal? etc....

Those aunties in my office came to touch on that topic.. Auntie 1 was looking for tissue paper (dunno wat happen) .. She doesn't have any wif her.. so she went around asking for it.. It seems Auntie 2 and the uncles doesn't have it too.. Auntie 2 ask her to get some from the toilet.. Auntie 1 was very pek che.. So she said this : "Huh.. real or fake one.. non of u guys have tissue paper ar.. not even the u (auntie 2) and xiao mei (another lady) ar.. how can like tat.." Hmmmm... maybe she forgotten to bring it..

Today, seldom ppl bring tissue paper.. i think the main result y i bring the tissue paper is becoz of my nose fluid.. haha.. tat is y i always have tissue paper around me.. recently the tissue supply at home went dry.. sad lehz.. i forgotten to buy.. i was so desperate for it tat i even had a dream of me going to NTUC to buy tissue paper.. haha.. think i better go and get it tmw..

Thursday, April 07, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` SuRpRiSe or NoT SuRpRiSe `

11:47 PM

Surprises comes in 2 ways. The pleasant surprise or the unpleasant surprise(shock). It can transform from pleasant to unpleasant and vice versa.

Well, I'm a kinda lucky guy tonight. Y? Coz surprise came in both form. One after another and back to the original starting from pleasant.

Surprise 1 : "The Pleasant Surprise"

Darling is working OT tonight. Suddenly i decided to cook Fried rice for her.. haha.. dunno y.. juz suddenly got this feeling.. maybe so long nv cook for her le ba or juz wanna to surprise her.. After work, i chiong home and managed to reach home by 7.15pm. =)

Wah.. Luckily i ask Nawan(my maid) to get all the ingredients ready.. So once i reached home, i started frying the rice. First the garlic and onion. Follow by the rice, black sauce, soy sauce. Then the sausage, sotong, fish cake and mixed vegetables. haha.. i forgotten abt egg.. But i didn't really have the time to go and add in the egg. I rem darling telling me tat she have not drink Milo Freeze for a long time, so head out to 7-11 to get it.. Sorry ar.. i dun have the time to go and make Milo Freeze.. so juz go and buy.. anyway only $2.. haha..

I was running late coz she told me tat she wanna go off at 8pm.. i waited for the stupid bus for so long.. damnit.. it only managed to come around 7.56pm.. So quickly ask darling not to go off first.. i told her to wait for me at the bus stop going to sengkang which is across the road..

Surprise 2 : "The Unpleasant Surprise"

When i was reaching the bus-stop, i saw her at the bus stop waiting to board the bus i was taking.. Oh no.. she was not supposed to board this bus (cause i wanna take her somewhere else).. I tried calling her.. But too late..

Surprise 3 : "The Pleasant Surprise"

Darling was wearing the same color blouse as me.. When we are in poly, it is rather common for us to wear the same color of clothes.. But during attachment, it was nearly impossible.. the only common color was light blue and white. So she was wearing her light blue blouse and GOSH.. she was beautiful in it..

I know it is kinda lame abt the color of the clothes and craps.. but I LIKE IT.. >=)

Surprise 4 : "The Unpleasant Surprise"

I blew it.. I was quite pek che.. coz i told her to wait for me at the bus stop not board the bus.. She tot tat i was meeting her at her place.. Haiz.. Communication problem.. I juz felt so piss off and pek che.. haiz.. dunno y i got into me.. maybe coz i really wanna be alone wif her not wanting people give us those "wat are r u doing" look..

Well, somehow i lose my head and start to give her my point of view.. Haiz.. i think i raise my voice a little too much.. she was so sad..

I juz randomly drop down at a bus stop and look for a place to sit.. Under the block maybe.. I ask her wat's wrong wif her and suddenly she wept.. OMG~!!!! I freak out when i saw that.. I quickly hugged her and apologised to her.. goodness me.. how can i make my darling cry.. haiz.. I whisper my apology to her and continue hugging her..

After 3 mins ( i timed it.. dunno y.. juz timed it), she stopped crying.. my heart was so ache seeing her dropping her tears in front of me.. Man.. i was such a bastard.. haiz.. how bastard and unreasonable i was.. haiz.. Darling calm down and gave me a smile.. =)

Surprise 5: "The Pleasant Surprise"

We walked to one nearby block near the bus stop.. Guess wat we found.. haha.. we found a playground.. hehe.. Darling wanna go up there and sit.. so I smiled and followed her.. but it was wet due to the rain.. Being a stubborn lady, she insisted on sitting there and i have to give in to her.. it was really nice to have a change to rest our butt.. We are juz like kids.. remain me of our childhood.. hmmm.. anyway.. dinner was nice when i had her in my arms and sitting in a playboard.. I love it..

Well, I learnt tat it is who u r wif and not where u r wif.. I'm happy to go anywhere wif my darling.. So i wanna apologise to my darling again over here..

I'M SORRY DARLING.. I LOVE U~!

THE END

Tuesday, April 05, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` tHe ReTuRn oF aUnTiEs`

10:55 PM

After a break on Friday, the aunties are back.. Imagine.. going to the office in the morning and the first thing u hear when u step into the office are those auntie voice.. wah biang~!!! damn noisy lehz..

Actually to my finding, only Auntie 1 and Auntie 2 was here today (refer to previous blog). The rest of the gang is missing. Hmmm.. I think the rest of the gang is not that noisy as those 2 Aunties..

Around 4pm today, i heard something really stupid from them.. There was another guy which i nv see b4.. let call him Mr Lipton Tea (coz he was drinking a cup of tea).. Those aunties was so excited when they saw him coming around..

Auntie 1: "Hi, Wah.. u r here today ar.."
Lipton Tea: "Y?.." *sipping his tea.. "So how are things today?"
Auntie 2: "Hey.. u know wat? i found out something.."
Lipton Tea: "Hmm? Wat is tat?" *continue sipping his tea
Auntie 2: "I realised tat the ladies can do multi tasking but the guys can't.. whahaha" * giggling.. but to me it should like a WITCH laughter....
Lipton Tea: "Oh really.. okie.. then i supposed u can finish the work by today la? " *continue to drink his tea..
Auntie 2: "Haha.. No la.. Slowly do lo.. haha"
Auntie 1: "Ya lo.. haha.. Dun need so hurry la.. Still got 3 wks ma.."
* both aunties start to their WITCH laughter again..

Hmmm.. Actually it is true.. i got to say tat as a guy.. ladies can multi task.. coz they can bitch around, gossip and work at the same time.. Opps.. no no no.. it is bitching and gossiping more than work.. hmmm.. i really wonder if they get any work done.. hmmmm

Monday, April 04, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` ExPeNsiVe OuTiNg `

11:25 PM

Today suppose to go to Church de.. but i woke up late.. haiz.. After tat suppose to accompany my darling go to her Fo Tang.. i'm not going coz i change my religion but mainly coz i wanna accompany her and take a look at how they conduct this religion lesson..

But i didn't managed to go.. coz need to go and Sweep the Tomb.. I have no idea wat my Grandfather(father's side) look like.. Actually it is nothing much also la.. they go and do some prayers.. clean up the tomb and burn some incense papers..

Since i cannot join my darling for her lesson, I meet up wif her for dinner.. Before i left, i managed to finish reading my book "Kissing me softly".. haha.. it is a long time since i have ever read finish a book.. haha..

I met up wif the mp3 guy and took the player back from him.. Basket.. took the player and repair so long.. if i dun call him.. i dun think he will give me back lo..

We go to the Soup Restaurant for dinner.. I aim that restaurant very long le.. each time wanna go and eat but no money.. =( We orderd the Sanshui Chicken(Best dish), Samba Kang Kong, Claypot tofu, Steam rice with chicken and mushroom and Steam rice with chicken and chinese sausage.. The food was WONDERFUL~!!!

But we did not bring enough money to pay for it.. cost us $48.10 lehz.. so ex.. so ma lu.. so bo bian.. have to rush down to withdraw money coz they dun accept NETS.. haiz.. my poor darling have to sit down there and wait for me to return.. hahaha..

Suddenly got urge to eat ice-cream.. haha.. went down to Cold Storage and buy Hagen-Daz.. haha.. we bought the 4 small tube in a box.. $14 dollars.. =) we got high class taste.. All in all, we spend close to $80 dollars.. coz my darling went to buy her personal things also ma.. lucky not everytime like tat ar.. if not confirm broke.. haha..

Got home and mum ask me a shocking question..
Mum: "Wah.. go and cut ur hair today ar.."
Stunt~!!!!
Me: "I cut my hair like last weekend lehz.."
Mum: "How i koe ar.. Now den i see ma.."
Hmmm.. but she send me to work everyday.. maybe she dun take notice of me everyday.. i dunno.. nvm.. =)

Sunday, April 03, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` rOnNiE b'DaY `

11:58 PM

Ronnie decided to celebrate his bday outside his house.. After that stupid incident (pls refer to the blog Titled "` BriDaL ShoTs`", we had to walk over to his place..

As usual.. once all the girls meet up, they start yanking and gossiping all the way.. Not much diff from the Aunties at my office.. nvm.. Coz i got Wilson.. Seriously i have no idea wat is there so much to talk abt.. So we juz walk and dun care abt the "mobile radio"(the girls) behind.. haha..

Wilson and I decided to scare them.. but too bad.. only my darling got shocked.. SOrry honey.. *sayang sayang*.. Ronnies place was very crowded.. There was quite a number of ppl there.. All the people who turned up need to have a photo taken.. haha.. like Ming Sing like tat.. haha..

Taken dinner and start to gossip again.. gossip if ronnie and yun yun are still together, gossip abt work, discuss abt our outing, etc.. Somehow.. i really miss those days in FYPJ where we will juz go to lvl 5, play uno or poker cards and start to gossip.. those where the fun fun days.. haha..

After cutting his cake and taking photos, he was taken outside and "raped" by his friends.. It was den i saw a familiar face.. it was Yvonne's friend.. hmmm.. i remembered her coz i called her "airport" b4.. but heng ar.. she dun recognise me.. haha..

Kiat loo is so stupid.. the question was.. "50kg of cotton and 50kg of rock, which is heavier?".. haha.. she told me 50kg of rocks.. hahah.. so stupid.. haha.. the answer is both r the same weight.. hmmmmm.. i think if i ask MeiLing, she will give me the same answer too.. =p~

Wilson and I was drinking Calsburg coz got no other drinks.. Den somehow, Wilson and Ronnie "ta" one can of Calsburg each.. haha.. After tat it was my turn.. haha.. I knew tat if i drink 1 can one shot, my face will go red.. haha.. but dun care la.. haha.. my bro Ronnie bday ma.. haha.. once in a while can la.. haha.. After tat my face really very red.. haha.. BUT I WAS NOT DRUNK~!!

Somehow, the spotlight was on MeiLing after the party.. haha.. she saw a rat and she freak out.. the rat was so far away.. haha.. Jasmine made a stupid comment..
Jas: "U r born in the yr of a Rat and yet u r scared of it"
-_-"""
Wilson: "Den isn't 1985 ppl r all scared of cow? haha.."
Hmmm.. i wonder wat abt those who born in the yr of tiger? snake? or even worst DRAGON~!!! any of those and I will freak out..

MeiLing, Darling XT and I took the North East train back to the home.. So we need to go to Outram Park Interchange to change a train.. From there on, we need to go down the escalator but instead MeiLing took the escalator UP.. haha.. so blur and funny.. haha.. the worst was.. I ALSO WENT UP.. omg.. i so stupid..

Generally fun and very interesting day.. haha.. all thanks to the gang n i think especially MeiLing.. haha.. u the Man.. btw.. the black color beer is not ABC Stop.. it is ABC Stout.. =)

Saturday, April 02, 2005
it was meant to be-

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` BriDaL ShoTs `

11:55 PM

Today Ronnie celebrate his b'day.. He is 21 yrs old le.. Actually not true.. coz his actual bday is on 6th Apr. So haven't 21 yrs old yet..

We met at Tiong Bahru MRT station at 6.30pm.. But all of them late (expected de).. So we decided to go walk walk Tiong Bahru shopping center lo.. coz darling nv go there b4 ma..

Walk to the 1st level only den got people stop us.. wah sian.. the guy look at us den give us a very shock look.. after tat start smiling.. he wan us to go to his bridal booth to take a look at their promotion.. haiz.. this is not the first time liao le lo.. last time at Taka also like tat.. hmmm.. i think we r juz so loving and look so compatiable.. whahaha..

Got this auntie keep bombing us with their product saying how gd tis deal is la, how nice la, how attractive la, blah blah blah..... After tat JiaPei and KiatLoo join us.. they also kena lehz.. haha.. but they seem to managed to settle the thing faster den us.. haiz..

The rest managed to join us.. i quickly took my chance i got away from the booth.. haiz.. sad lehz.. so stupid one.. actually wanna walk walk lo.. end up in tat stupid booth..

BUT~~~~~~~~~ The objective of the auntie is gd.. she wan us (especially my darling) to take some nice photo shoot when we are young.. Den 10 - 20 yrs down the road, u will koe and show ppl how nice and pretty u r when u r young.. Hmmmm.. Youth last for a very short period ar.. So treasure it hor.. haha.. BTW.. The deal is S$388.. Provide 20 photos and a free photo album.. 2 free outfit and hairstyle.. the stop is located at the top level of tanjong katong shopping centre.. (opp Paya Lebar MRT station) .. =)

it was meant to be-

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